Jaynard Ronquillo
NAANTIG at na-inspire ang mga netizens, lalo na ang mga estudyante sa napakalalim na hugot ng isang lalaking nagtapos sa kolehiyo ngayong taon.
Napakahaba ng naging litanya ni Jaynard Ronquillo sa kanyang Facebook page nitong nagdaang August 15, kung saan ibinahagi niya ang kanyang mga hirap at sakripisyo makatapos lamang ng college.
Dito, inilahad ni Jaynard, na nakapagtapos ng Bachelor of Science in Chemical Engineering sa University of the Philippines-Los Baños, kung saan nanggagaling ang kanyang mga hugot sa buhay.
May titulong “𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗔 𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜 𝗡𝗜𝗬𝗢 𝗡𝗔 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗞𝗢 𝗜𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗞”, inisa-isa ni Jaynard ang mga natutunan niya bilang estudyante na ginawa ang lahat para magtagumpay sa kanyang pag-aaral at makamit ang pinakaaasam na pangarap sa buhay.
“Most of you might wonder why would I start my message with an awful, disturbing, and heartbreaking line? Because as we know, graduation posts usually show how grateful you are for the people who have helped you along the way such as your friends, and family.
“Unfortunately, I choose to unveil the other side of the story too. I still remember the two scenarios where I uttered this line to my parents. But before going into these scenarios, just a quick (or not quick) background about me.
“As cliché as it might sound, I am one of those typical honor students. Panganay na lumaki sa hirap at sa angkang walang college graduate. Isang consistent honor student simula elementary na suki ng mga contests gaya ng essay writing, quiz bees, journalism, MTAP at iba pa,” simulang bahagi ng FB status ni Jaynard.
Aniya, ang tatay niya ay naging tricycle driver, family driver, business driver, at suma-sideline sa pagkumpuni ng mga sirang electric fans habang ang nanay naman niya ay naging kasambahay, mananahi, barangay health worker, at tagahugas ng mga pinggan sa isang catering service.
“I used to be that bright, hopeful, and optimistic kid who had the goal of saving the whole family from poverty. I used to think it was easy.
“Growing up, I started to question life. Bakit sila may ganito pero tayo ay wala? Bakit sila may pambili pero tayo ay wala? Bakit yung almusal ng kaklase ko marami, pero kami ng kapatid ko wala o kaya naman ay kailangang maghati sa iisang itlog? (Ibobombastic side eye ko pa yung kapatid ko ‘pag kinuha niya yung mas marami ang yellow part).
“Bakit yung kaklase ko may service pauwi samantalang ako walang choice kundi maglakad araw-araw kahit malayo? Bakit yung kaklase ko nakakabayad agad ng PTA? Bakit sila may handa lagi sa birthday pero ako ay wala? Bakit wala akong baon? Bakit sila mayaman tapos tayo ay mahirap? Bakit ganito ang buhay?
“At an early age, I realized, life really is unfair. May mga batang tulad ko na subsob sa pag-aaral at tila ba ‘di alintana ang kumakalam na sikmura dahil wala namang choice,” paglalahad pa ni Jaynard.
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“The usual response from an optimistic Filipino like my parents is, ‘𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴.’ O kaya naman ay ‘𝘗𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘬𝘢, 𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘣𝘢 𝘯𝘨𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘢.’ Don’t get me wrong, but I think comparing your life to others is valid as long as you’re doing it to identify your needs.
“Also, we shouldn’t always use the misfortunes of other people to make us or others feel like the problem we are experiencing isn’t really so hard. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I realized that some of the coping mechanisms of Filipino people are rooted in toxic positivity.
“Going back to my journey as the first college graduate ng buong angkan, I didn’t grow up having role models, mentors, tutors, or someone in our family who is successful that I can look up to. I grew up having people I didn’t want to be like and seeing situations I’d never want to be in.
“And speaking of situations, I can still remember one of my memorable experiences as a poor kid. I was in elementary and ako yung laging inuutusan ng nanay ko para pumunta sa tindahan. Lagi akong nasesermunan ng nanay ko dahil ang tagal bago ako makabalik ng bahay.
“Little did she know, kaya ako natatagalan ay dahil nahihiya ako. I was shy because instead of having coins and paper bills on my hands, I was bringing a long vertical strip cut-out from marlboro red packaging with the name of my mom at the top and a long list of unpaid items.
“Ang ginagawa ko noon ay tatambay muna ako sa tindahan, papaunahin yung iba at kapag wala ng tao ay saka ko kakausapin ang tindera gamit ang paulit-ulit na linyang ‘𝘗𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘢 𝘳𝘢𝘸 𝘱𝘰 𝘴𝘪 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘢.’ That was my daily struggle back then.
“Another significant memory from my childhood as a poor kid stands out, and it’s the first time I unintentionally uttered the words, ‘𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬.’ I was just 11 years old, and it happened during the feast of Brgy. San Jose, CSFP.
“The event had thrilling rides, especially the octopus ride, which piqued my curiosity. All my friends decided to try it, but I was hesitant because there was literally nothing in my pocket. Despite knowing my mother’s likely response, I still tried to ask her for money. At that time, she worked as a kasambahay and had just finished doing laundry.
“She faced me with her lightning-fast rapper spitting out 10 syllables per second and explained that the money she had left was for our food and that her boss hadn’t paid her yet. Immature and frustrated, I threw a tantrum. She disciplined me with a stick, which brought out my main character side, and I blurted out those hurtful words for the first time, ‘𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬.’
“I saw the shock on my mom’s face as she hit me with the stick once more, expressing her concerns about the financial burden of raising me. Looking back, I deeply regret my anger and selfishness during that moment,” pahayag pa ng binata.
Paliwanag pa niya sa pagsasabi ng ‘𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬,’ “I understand that they often emerge from our mouths due to selfishness and ingratitude. They become a manifestation of our frustration when our parents can’t provide the things we desire.
“Regrettably, these words can feel like a thousand sharp knives piercing our parents’ hearts, a painful reminder of our unappreciative attitude. I must admit, I uttered those hurtful words when I was merely 11 years old, a time when immaturity clouded my judgment. It’s crucial to recognize that these outbursts are driven by momentary emotions and fail to capture the deep love and sacrifices our parents make for us.
“But can you believe that even as a grown-up now, with supposedly increased maturity, I found myself uttering these hurtful words to my parents once more? Yes, this marked the second and final instance when I voiced this painful sentiment to them. To provide some context, I was fortunate enough to have scholarships supporting my college journey.
“However, the stipends I received often ended up being used for non-academic expenses. These scholarships were used to fix the house (tiles, ceilings, etc.), repay debts to neighbors, cover electricity, water, and internet bills, assist relatives, and more.
“Returning to the second and final scenario where I spoke the words, ‘𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬,’ it was triggered by a delay in receiving stipends from my scholarships, leaving us without any source of income. We were already midway through the semester, and the mounting debts were becoming overwhelming.
“I reached out to my mother for financial assistance, as I needed the money for rent, internet, electricity, and water bills. Unfortunately, we were left with absolutely nothing to spare, and there were no options for borrowing either. Regrettably, driven by sheer frustration, I let those painful words escape my lips once again, ‘𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬.’
“Hear me out, the initial instance I voiced these words was rooted in selfishness and ingratitude. However, this time, it was different. I spoke these words from a selfless place. They emerged as a result of my contemplation, pondering over countless ‘what ifs.’
“As I sat there, lost in my thoughts, I found myself overwhelmed with emotions that were hard to put into words. While I wanted my parents to know that I love them deeply, I couldn’t help but reflect on the circumstances of my existence and the world in which we live.
“Growing up, I saw the hardships they both endured to provide for me, and I was grateful for the sacrifices they had made. But I couldn’t help but wonder about a different path – one where they had the chance to pursue their own passions and dreams without the burden of poverty.
“It saddened me to think that they might have missed out on the opportunities and joys that life could have offered them if circumstances were different. Maybe they had dreams of becoming artists, musicians, or explorers.
Perhaps they had aspirations to travel the world, discover new horizons, and embrace the beauty it had to offer. What if my father, with his exceptional mechanical skills, and my mother, who stood at the top of her class, had followed their passions? What if they decided not to have me and instead pursued their college dreams?” pagbabahagi pa niya.
Paglilinaw naman ni Jaynard, “Please understand that my feelings weren’t meant to blame them or make them feel guilty. I knew that the decisions they made were out of love and a desire to provide a better life for our family. It’s just that sometimes the weight of these thoughts becomes too much to bear.
“Moreover, clarifying that this post is not intended to blame my parents. It’s crucial to acknowledge that during their time, they were hindered in their pursuit of dreams by a system that unjustly favored a select few. So, while working hard on our own can totally improve our lives, we can’t ignore the need to fix the system too.
“That way, more Filipino people can get a fair shot at opportunities. Bilang isang Iskolar ng Bayan, sisiguraduhin kong magiging parte ako ng ganitong kilusan. As I navigate through life, I hope to honor the sacrifices my parents have made for me and make the most of the opportunities that come my way. I will strive harder to break the cycle of poverty and create a better future for my family.
“So, as I celebrate this milestone, I want to take a moment to inspire future parents who might come across this post. Please listen to my story and let it guide you on your journey toward parenthood,” aniya pa.
Samantala, pinaalalahanan din ni Jaynard ang lahat tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng anak.
“𝗗𝗢𝗡’𝗧 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗 𝗕𝗘 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗠𝗘.
“It may sound harsh but that’s the reality. If bringing a child into this world means subjecting them to similar or potentially worse hardships than I endured, all in the pursuit of success, it’s better to reconsider having a child at all.
“Raising a child demands not only financial stability but also emotional and mental readiness. The world is full of challenges, and as parents, you’ll be the guiding light for your child. Take the time to nurture your own mental well-being and create a supportive environment for yourself and your future family.
“Parenthood is a significant responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Ensuring financial stability before having a child will provide them with the opportunities and resources they deserve. It will alleviate some of the struggles and allow you to focus on creating precious memories together.
“Pursue your passions and dreams before starting a family. It’s essential to find fulfilment in your own life, for that happiness will resonate with your child as they grow up. Remember, your aspirations don’t need to be abandoned; they can become a source of inspiration for the next generation.
“I’m not sharing this to blame anyone or harbor resentment. My story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the power of unconditional love. But it also underscores the importance of setting the stage for a child’s life in the best possible way.
“To all the future parents out there, I implore you to reflect on my words. Your child’s future is shaped by the foundation you lay for them. I hope my journey can serve as a reminder to prioritize mental and financial preparedness before embarking on this beautiful yet challenging path of parenthood.
“Kahit alam kong mahirap, imposible o tila isang suntok sa buwan, hindi pa rin ako mawawalan ng pag-asa na sana balang araw, wala nang mga batang tulad ko na sa murang edad ay tila ba pasan ang buong mundo. Sana sa paglipas ng panahon, wala nang mga batang magsasabi sa kanilang mga magulang na sana hindi na lang sila ipinanganak,” ang pahayag pa ni Jaynard.