Actor-vlogger goodbye muna sa YouTube: I’m scared to lose myself….

Benedict Cua

“GOODBYE, Philippines!” Yan ang titulo ng bagong YouTube vlog ng kilalang social media personality at aktor na si Benedict Cua.

Nagdesisyon ang binata na huwag munang magtrabaho at mag-break muna sa mundo ng socmed para mapag-isa at mag-soul searching dahil sa nararamdaman niyang kalungkutan.

“I decided to stop working for a while. I know it sounds so entitled but I feel like at this point in my life, I’m experiencing existential crisis where suddenly, everything’s like back to zero,” simulang pahayag ni Benedict.

Inamin din niya na parang hindi na niya kinakaya ang pressure nitong mga nagdaang araw sa paggawa ng content para sa kanyang YT channel.

“I always have that urge na parang kailangan kong i-please lahat ng mga tao, I always have to be my perfect self. A lot of times, parang wala na akong time maging vulnerable,” paliwanag ng actor-vlogger.

Dahil dito, nakakaramdam na raw siya ng anxiety, “Natatakot ka, kinakabahan ka. It’s like there’s a huge weight on your shoulder, on your chest.

“Parang ‘yung buhay ko, naging vlog na, naging filming. This job is really not for everyone. At this point, I don’t even think it’s for me.

“There’s no vacation anymore like whenever you’re outside, whenever you’re hanging out with your family, you always feel obligated to film everything ’cause when you don’t, you feel anxious,” lahad pa ni Benedict.

Isa pa raw sa naging dahilan kung bakit nagdesisyon na siyang iwan muna pansamantala ang kanyang mga trabaho ay nang umuwi siya sa Bulacan at makita ang lugar na nagpapasaya noon sa kanya.

“I felt like there’s no beauty in reality anymore and it scared me ’cause before, when I’m connecting with nature, I feel whole, I feel alive,” sabi ng binata.

“I’m scared to lose myself. I’m scared that this thing that I’m feeling now, I’ll feel it my whole life and I don’t wanna live a life like that.

“I just wanna be able to connect to the world again, in a way, find myself, what I really want in my life, if I’m really on the right path. I’m not gonna let myself be pressured,” sabi pa ng vlogger.

Sa huling bahagi ng kanyang video, nagpasalamat uli siya sa kanyang mga supporters at nagpaalala na okay lang magpahinga paminsan-minsan lalo’t para naman ito sa iyong sariling kapakanan.

“It doesn’t mean that you’re irresponsible. You’re trying to regain yourself so you can be better,” sabi pa ni Benedict na napanood noon sa Kapuso drama series na “Anak ni Waray vs. Anak ni Biday” na pinagbidahan nina Barbie Forteza at Kate Valdez.

Samantala, nag-post din ang binata sa Instagram ng mga litrato niya na kuha sa isang beach resort at dito nga siya nangako siya na babalik din siya sa tamang panahon.