Ang gumagamit ng dating app…they wanna hook up, they wanna have sex

USUNG-USO talaga ngayon ang Q&A sa mga artista na kapag hindi sila abala ay sila mismo ang nag-o-offer sa kanilang followers at supporters na magtanong tungkol sa nagaganap sa buhay nila.

Kapag natapos ang tanungan at sagutan ay saka nila ito ipo-post sa kanilang social media accounts partikular na sa YouTube.

Sa pagkakataong ito ay si Xian Lim naman ang nagpa-Ask Xian sa kanyang followers. Narito ang ilan sa mga tanong na isa-isang sinagot ng binata.

How do you handle rejection? “I think kasi sa buhay natin you’re gonna encounter plenty of rejections, so parang be prepared to get rejected every single day, if it’s work related, if it’s relationship related or whatever it is, you shouldn’t worry about it.

“You should be ready na harapin at take it head-on and don’t be afraid.  Once you got rejected in life, that’s when you learn. Maybe may nagawa akong mali kaya ako na-reject, and so you’ll just do better next time.

“At kung pag-ibig naman ang pag-uusapan na you get rejected, maybe that person isn’t right for you, di ba?  Maybe your destiny or soulmate maybe it’s pulling you back like a slingshot for you to find that one, that special someone that’s for you.

“In a relationship hindi mo dapat ipinagpipilitan ang sarili mo, don’t force yourself to fit in. Never, never do that,” pahayag ng actor-director.

Thoughts on girls? “What’s my thoughts on girls doing the first move? For me, completely there’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s just what we’ve been used to with the Philippines’ conservative culture.

“But in another country, it’s completely okay for the girl to approach the girl first. Bakit naman ang lalaki lang parati ang dapat mag-engage ng first move.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.  If your intension is clean, there’s nothing wrong with girls making the first move.”

As an introvert, what’s the biggest take-away if you have feelings for someone? “Sasagutin ko na lang in a way kung paano ko naintindihan, you gotta have to respect on the borderline of it.

“Kasi, if you’re dating an extrovert and you want that introvert person to go out and do clubbing with you or do socializing medyo you have to take that person’s feelings into consideration kasi ang introvert naman doesn’t completely hate people or dislike noisy places.

“No, no it’s not that!  We actually seek that from time to time, it’s just that kailangan lang naming mag-recharge.

“So, maybe may times na gusto ng isang introvert lumabas at maki-party and socialize, it’s just that may timing lang siya kasi mabilis kaming ma-drain, parang battery ng cellphone nasa 5% na lang kami. So from that 5%, I think you should sense that an introvert could be drained at that point.”

What are your thoughts on dating apps? “Medyo kailangan kong maging careful dito, dating apps, paano ko ng aba sasabihin ‘to.  I do not fully approve of dating apps why?

“Kasi nu’ng unang panahon wala namang dating apps ngayon lang naman ito nangyari.  Nu’ng nagkaroon ng internet saka lang nagkaroon ng dating apps. So kung ano ang tatanungin ninyo, I don’t like it.

“Maraming risk involved, huwag na nating i-filter. Ang gumagamit ng dating app kasi they wanna hook up and they wanna have sex. I think, ‘yun ang initial purpose of it. Again this is my opinion, huwag sana kayong mao-offend. Saka risk talaga kasi mamaya ma-catfish ka, di ba?  Malay mo iba ‘yan?”

What’s your advice for Quaranfling? “Naku, narinig ko na ‘yan, narinig ko na ‘yan! (tila nairita). Ang initial thoughts ko sa quaranfling why not? I you’re get down and ready to party and you’re get down and ready to go, why not?

“Some people just wanna have fun, some people just wanna enjoy their years, their prime tulad ng mga 18 years-old o ng mga kaka-18 palang, gusto naming mag-enjoy, (sabay ngiti).

“Quaranfling, bored ka lang, tapos anong mangyayari?  Kung anu-anng dumadaan sa isip mo tapos nakikita mo sa Facebook ‘yung Ex mo mayroong kasama ganito, ganyan or kunwari malungkot ‘yung ex mo, ite-text mo tapos hayan nag quaranfling ka.

“Pagkatapos nitong quaranfling you made a mistake, so paano?  I’m sorry guys but again, if you’re down to party and down to have fun, parang Netflix and chill, kayo ‘yun, it’s your life.”

How do you move on? “Again, hindi ako eksperto, lahat ng sagot ko based on my personal experiences sa mga kaibigan kong nagkamali,minaltrato iniwanan, nang-iwan.  May tinatawag tayong 5 stages of grief.

“Pinakauna is denial, you will deny the fact that you got dumped, ‘yun, yun, eh.  If you have positive people around you, mapapabilis ang pag-cope mo sa moving on.

“Anger — magagalit ka do’n sa tao, magagalit ka sa mga taong nasa paligid mo, you’re gonna start blaming people.  Always remember na phase lang ito, just like storm mawawala rin ‘yan.

“You have wonderful people around, ‘wag ‘yung mga emotional vampire na nandon lang, makikinig sa ‘yo, inuubos lang niya ‘yung mga emosyon mo. Be with people like family, be with people you know they’re will be there, your bestfriend.  Para sa akin, ang anger ang pinaka-worst part.’’

‘’Bargaining, ito ‘yung annoying part.  Dito ako nanggigil sa stage na ‘to.  You gonna weigh in the situation if was the relationship worth it?  If the person up above give you the sign that you shouldn’t continue the relationship anymore, like 3 to 6 months a long, maybe it’s a sign.

“Ito kasing bargaining na ‘to, ito kasi ‘yung stage na denial, nagalit ka na, pero ‘maybe we gonna give one mo chance, babe? Maybe, maybe, maybe I do better, why not?  There’s nothing wrong with that, pero this is he perfect time to gauge kung papasukin mo pa ba ‘yung relationship na ‘yun.”

“Next is depression, again this is just a phase, you just gonna distinguish them, dapat maging klaro ka rin or are you on verge on hurting yourself or the likes.  Nasa clinical depression ka na ba?  Go see someone, go see a doctor, go seek professional advice, once you’re clinically depressed.  We’re talking about break-up ha?

“Last is acceptance, again I think it’s pretty much self-explanatory.  Ma accept mon a lang na ‘okay maybe it’s meant to be na ganito ‘yung situation natin or maybe tayo talaga sa huli or maybe I’m just being set up for a a better relationship next time.”
Ang dami pang mga tanong kay Xian kaya may part 2 pa ang Q&A segment niya sa kanyang vlog.

“I hope may natutunan kayo, ang dami lang kasing nagkukuwento sa akin na mga kaibigan ko and I think I figure na maybe it’s time to share it with you guys,” sabi pa ng boyfriend ni Kim Chiu.