DALAWANG beses palang nagtangkang mag-suicide ang asawa ni Dra. Vicki Belo na si Hayden Kho.
Ito ang kanyang inamin sa panayam ni Donita Rose na in-upload sa kanyang YouTube channel.
Ayon kay Hayden, inatake rin siya noon ng matinding depresyon at pangungulila kaya hinanap niya ang kaligayahan sa sex at droga. I-nakala niya na pera at kasikatan ang talagang magpapasaya sa kanya, lalo na nang pasukin niya ang showbiz.
Unang kuwento ni Hayden, “2005, 2006, 2007 I was having the time of my life. I was really enjoying my life. I was, in my eyes, I was successful. I was making lots of mo-ney, so I thought, ‘Okay, this is the good life.’
“And what I realized back then was that even if you have lots of money, that doesn’t bring fulfillment. So at the end of the day, when I’m alone in my bed, my problem was, yes, I have all these things, I have all these pleasures, but I still feel lonely. I still feel nobody knows me,” aniya pa.
“What do you usually do when you feel lonely, when you don’t find fulfillment in money? You look somewhere else… maybe in sex, or drugs, or whatever, so I tried all those things that supposed to bring you pleasure and fulfillment,” pagpapatuloy pa ni Hayden Kho.
Hanggang sa nasangkot na siya sa sex video scandal at natanggalan ng medical license. Taong 2008 nang una siyang magpakamatay pero hindi ito natuloy. Nag-attempt uli siya noong 2009 pero hindi pa rin siya nagtagumpay.
“I was just getting frustra-ted. I was just trying to be a good person. I wanted to be a good person. I was really doing my best to be a good person.
“When you are the problem, you cannot help yourself. There’s some sort of discipline that is required, but you need something outside you, you need a transcendent being or factor,” paliwanag pa niya.
Sa pagkakataong yun, naisip niyang may rason kung bakit buhay pa rin siya. Dito na siya sumailalim sa drug at psychological rehabilitation program sa loob ng apat na buwan pero bigo pa rin siyang magbago.
Nagdesisyon siyang magtungo sa Arizona, USA, kung saan isang buwan siyang nag-meditate sa tuktok ng bundok araw-araw sa loob ng 12 oras pero wala pa rin itong epekto.
Sinabi rin niya na na-feel niya noon na hindi niya kailangan ang Diyos sa kanyang buhay, “I just rejected him. I did not consider Him important in my life, so I went on my own.”
Noong 2013 ay talagang sumuko na siya sa buhay, pero dito na niya naramdaman ang presence ng Panginoon. “That was the day that God moved. Maybe God said, ‘Are you done trying? Can I try now?’” aniya.
Malaki raw ang naitulong sa kanya ni Ravi Zacharias, isang Indian-born Canadian-American Christian apologist at author ng mga Christian books.
Sa ngayon daw ay totoong happy na siya sa piling ng asawang si Dra. Belo at sa kanilang anak na si Scarlet Snow.