Rica Peralejo
MAY bonggang paliwang ang aktres at inspirational speaker na si Rica Peralejo tungkol sa walang kamatayang issue ng “paglimot” at “pagpapatawad”.
Sa isa niyang vlog, sinagot ng celebrity mom ang tanong ng ilang taong may iba’t ibang hugot sa pakikipagrelasyon, lalo na yung mga nabiktima ng panloloko ng kanilang partners.
Naniniwala rin daw si Rica sa “forgiveness” pero may mga pagkakataon talaga na napakahirap kapag ikaw ang kailangang magpawatad sa taong nanloko at nanakit sa iyo.
“My definition kasi, forgiveness is a cancellation of debt. Kunyari may isang taong may utang sa ‘yo, which is essentially kung ano ang ginagawa ng isang taong nakapanakit sa ‘yo.
“May nakuha siya sa ‘yo eh. Depende sa laki ng nakuha niya sa ‘yo at nagawa niya sa ‘yo, ganu’n din ‘yung mararamdaman mong hurt or pain,” simulang paliwanag ni Rica.
Inihalintulad pa niya ito sa pag-utang, “Kunyari may utang na money, madali naman talagang ibalik kasi pera lang ‘yun. Pero kapag ang utang sa ‘yo ay ‘yung years of abuse or iniwan ka, in-abandon ka, paano mo naman sisingilin ‘yun, di ba?”
Aniya, ang “forgiveness” ay isang paraan para makapag-move on agad ang isang tao at mabawasan ang galit at sakit na kanyang nararamdaman.
“Kapag may utang sa ‘yo ang isang tao, every time makikita mo ‘yung tao na ‘yon naaalala mo ‘yung utang niya na hindi niya nabayaran.
“So tali ka sa kanya, imprisoned ka at the same time. Hindi mo rin ma-let go ‘yung sa puso mo, so parang in a way, tinatali mo rin ‘yung sarili mo sa sama ng loob.
“So forgiveness is a way out of that. It’s saying I no longer want to be tied with you in this sense na whenever I see you, I only see and remember the bad parts, the things that you’ve taken away from me. I’m cancelling that and I’m ending that right now. So you can do that,” paliwanag pa ng aktres.
Ngunit aniya, hindi rin daw ito applicable sa lahat ng magdyowa, “If it has been going on for years, you also cannot just expect to get over it overnight.
“And sometimes we can actually verbalize the forgiveness before we truly feel it. Yes, let’s choose to forgive, let’s choose to say na hindi ko na siya sisingilin for it, but also at the same time be patient with ourselves.
“A lot of people think and also advise other people na kung talagang napatawad mo na ‘yan kailangang mag-usap na kayo, maging okay na kayo. I don’t think forgiveness looks like that,” litanya ni Rica.
Patuloy pa niyang paliwanag, “Ideally forgiveness should lead to restoration. Kapag may utang sa ‘yo ang tao, kapag namali ka ng isang tao, it breaks the relationship.
“And that’s the most hurtful part of all, na I have to not be okay with you anymore because of what you’ve done to me. So you really are not just losing something that you own, but you are also losing the relationship.
“I’m someone who, as much as possible, ‘let’s save the marriage.’ But I’m also not close to the idea that some marriages really are better off breaking apart because it’s just not good for them to be together anymore.
“There are instances where forgiveness is the only thing you can give and nothing more. You don’t have to restore anything and it is better off that you are not communicating anymore, that you will cut the ties with this person already,” pahayag pa niya.
https://bandera.inquirer.net/291731/bea-ayaw-maging-plastik-its-not-about-asking-for-forgiveness-its-taking-accountability
https://bandera.inquirer.net/295290/lj-naka-move-on-na-pero-dedma-pa-rin-sa-sorry-ni-paolo-hindi-madaling-ibigay-ang-forgiveness
https://bandera.inquirer.net/302021/chesca-sa-mga-mag-asawa-in-marital-relations-there-is-no-such-thing-as-luck