“OKAY lang naman na i-test drive mo muna bago mo bilhin.” Yan ang ginawang pagdedepensa ni Ellen Adarna sa pakikipag-live in sa lahat ng naging boyfriend niya.
Ayon sa fiancée ni Derek Ramsay, mismong ang tatay niya ang nagturo sa kanya na kilalanin munang mabuti ang isang lalaki na makakarelasyon niya sa pamamagitan ng pagtira sa isang bahay.
Aniya, 18 years old pa lang ay pinayagan na siya ng mga magulang na maging independent kasabay ng paalala na huwag basta-basta magpapakasal hangga’t hindi pa lubusang kilala ang karelasyon.
“My dad suggested na, ‘Mag-live in na kayo, get to know your partner.’ Kasi ‘yun talaga ‘yung fear niya, na magpakasal kami at a very young age. So he wanted us to get to know our partner, know what we want and don’t want,” pag-amin ni Ellen sa isang podcast kasama si Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach at iba pang beauty queens.
Alam din ng dating sexy star na natatakot din ang kanyang nanay sa pakikipag-live in niya pero sey ni Ellen wala siyang pinagsisisihan sa naging desisyon niya dahil napakarami niyang natutunan sa mga naranasan niya.
“I remember my dad always telling my mom when I was in high school. ‘You know, if you want your children to learn, you have to let them go.’
“Kasi ako I’m a mother, I know how it feels, na takot na takot siya. But because of that tough love, I learned a lot,” ani Ellen.
Dagdag pa niyang paliwanag, “Feeling ko if I don’t live in with a person…kasi I don’t know him. How will I get to know him, how will I get to know the truth? Kasi it’s so different when you’re in the same house.”
Nagkuwento rin siya sa mga nakakalokang experience niya sa isang naka-live in niya noon na may kasamaan ang ugali at walang ginawa kundi maliitin siya. Dugtong pa ni Ellen, “He would throw things at my yaya. Nakita ko ito after mga seven months, Doon na lumabas.”
“I think that’s why my relationships don’t last long. Kasi hindi ako matiisin eh. Parang, ‘Ayoko na ‘to, so what’s the point?’ Sasabihin ko, ‘We lived in for months tapos ayoko na to be with this guy. I cannot see a future with this guy. So why would I waste my time?'” lahad pa ng ex ni John Lloyd Cruz.
Mas okay din sa kanya ang mas matanda sa kanya o mas mature sa lahat ng bagay, “Why would you want to be with someone who’s not experienced? Ha-hahaha! Kung mas experienced, e ‘di more wisdom, ‘di ba? More mature.”
Samantala, natanong din si Ellen kung bakit kay Derek siya magpapakasal, “Before, the reason why my relationships didn’t work, akala ko sila ‘yung may problema. But it was the same pattern. It was me, it’s because I wouldn’t open up. I would hide it and keep it all in. I wouldn’t express how I really feel.
“Noong nag-inner work ako, na-realize ko na, ‘Oh my God, mali ko pala ‘yun.’ So when I met Derek, I was able to express it. I was better at expressing myself, and things just went very smoothly,” sey pa niya.
Ito naman ang mensahe niya sa lahat ng nagpaplanong makipag-live in, “Mahirap kasi talaga if you don’t really know the person. Let’s say if you’re going to marry him, mag-iiba kasi talaga, eh. Okay na ‘yang i-test drive mo muna bago mo bilhin.
“It’s for your protection. You also have to think about the future and yourself. Things can really go wrong. There’s nothing certain,” chika pa ni Ellen Adarna.