“I WAS diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.”
Idinetalye ni Ellen Adarna sa pamamagitan ng isang video ang pinagdaanan niyang mga pagsubok nitong nakaraang taon at kung paano niya ito pinaglabanan at napagtagumpayan.
Ipinost ng dating partner ni John Lloyd Cruz sa Instagram ang nasabing video para maging inspirasyon at kapulutan ng aral ng mga netizens, lalo na ang tungkol sa mental health program na pinagdaanan niya sa Bali, Indonesia, ang Kokoro.
Dito inamin ni Ellen na matindi na pala ang nararamdamang anxiety attacks, dahil bukod sa pagkamatay ng kanyang ama ay dumanas din siya postpartum depression matapos isilang ang anak nila ni John Lloyd na si Elias Modesto.
“Before the Kokoro program, I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
“The reason why these things happened to me was because of the death of my father, I had… unhealthy relationships, and I just had given birth at the time. And all these things happened together all at one time. It was really a recipe for the worse,” simulang paliwanag ni Ellen.
Pagpapatuloy pa niya, “Emotionally, I didn’t know who I was anymore. Having lost an anchor (tatay niya) in the family and with all the changes that came with motherhood, I lost myself. I lost my identity. I didn’t know who I was; I was confused.
“I lost the confidence and the trust I had in myself when I was younger. I considered myself a very strong person, and those things I lost, I was back to zero,” paglalahad pa ni Ellen.
Dito na raw nagsimulang lumala ang kanyang panic attacks, “I didn’t experience getting sick. I was okay, but I would just be puking out of the blue, uncontrollably, and I’d have panic attacks, not knowing what was going on with me and what was going on with my body.
“I would just be shaking, and that was my first time to experience those,” paliwanag pa ng dating sexy actress.
May pagkakataon din daw na itinatanong niya sa sarili kung bahagi ba talaga ito ng pagiging ina, “Is this what motherhood is? I’m always tired, I’m sad, and I’m always grieving.”
Nagpatingin naman daw siya sa mga espesyalista, kabilang na riyan ang isang therapist at psychiatrist. May ininom din siyang mga gamot. Ngunit aniya, “I was not sad, but not also happy. I was like a robot, and the pills were just a mask to hide the problems. It was like a layer to filter the problem.”
Hanggang sa madiskubre na nga niya noong March, 2020 ang tungkol sa Kokoro program sa Pondok Taksu Bali, na pinangangasiwaan ni Pk. Jero Wayan, isang monk, at ni Ni Ketut Seni, na isa namang Balinese priestess.
Natapos ni Ellen ang two-week program kung saan sumailalim siya sa mental and physical exercises, at super satisfied naman siya sa naging resulta nito.