Bandera Throwback 2014: ‘And the agaw-eksena award goes to..’.

YEAR 2014 is replete with shakers and movers in showbiz na talaga namang umeksena, nag-ingay, nagpasabog, nagmaganda, nagtaray. Ang daming nangyari sa local showbiz and it involved the most colorful people there is.

Since it’s the time of the year na magsasara na, we opted to give recognition to some popular celebrities who made a scene and continue to make a scene. We’re giving them “awards” na sana‘y maging katanggap-tanggap sa kanila. Wala po itong personalan, trabaho lang.

PAPANSIN COUPLE OF THE YEAR – Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes. While many believe they are still very popular, we think that their popularity is only based on social media. Actually, malapit nang maging has-been ang magdyowa, their latest TV shows are non-raters. All they have become are glorified starlets. Nawawala na ang kanilang ningning. Their stars are fast dimming.

WALANG NAGMAMAHAL AWARD  – Kris Aquino. While she may have the best things in the world – money, fame, career – it is undeniable na merong kulang sa buhay niya. Being in a romance is what would complete her but no one is about to take the risk in being called the boyfriend of the Queen of Talk.

Kris was always the WRONG WOMAN for the RIGHT MAN. She will never be happy. She is not destined to have a man na mamahalin siya ng panghabang buhay. Wala siyang karapatang lumigaya. Iyan ang sumpa sa kanya.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AWARD – Andi Eigenmann. She seems to have gotten to her senses at tila napagod na siya sa paghahabol sa kanyang ex-boyfriend na si Jake Ejercito. After the on-now, break-later drama, nagsawa na rin si Andi. Good for her.

NEGA STAR OF THE YEAR – Lea Salonga. While she is cultured and outspoken, Aling Lea caught netizens by surprise when she made public outbursts on social media. Although she said it in English, naging palengkera ang kanyang kiyaw-kiyaw sa Twitter. Wala siyang ipinagkaiba sa tindera sa talipapa na putak nang putak ang bunganga at the slightest provocation.

MAPANGLAIT OF THE YEAR – Carla Abellana. Just because she’s LEARNED at nakatapos ng kolehiyo ay feeling above the universe na ang tingin ni Carla sa kanyang sarili. Lait kung lait siya, patutsada kung patutsada, parang walang pinag-aralan.

Her “You gotta let negative people live in their negative lil world with their negative opinions & their negative bank accounts” rant caught the collective ire of netizens. Carla is full of herself, full of YABANG. With that, she might find herself a new name – Carla Ang Yabang Na!!!

FOREVER ANINO AWARD – Nadine Lustre. By being a third world copycat of Kathryn Bernardo, James Reid’s leading lady  will never make it. She will not be a BIG STAR, BIG STARLET puwede pa. Kapag hindi niya ipinaretoke ang mukha niya, second fiddle palagi ang magiging peg niya.

SELFIE COUPLE AWARD  – Aiza Seguerra and Liza Diño. They simply loved being photographed together. In the beginning, okay pa but later on, nakakasuka na. OA na OA ang PDA. It was like they were ramming into our collective throats their made-in-heaven na pagmamahalan as if naman pangmatagalan.

NGIWI AWARD – Maricel Soriano. She once had  beautiful lips but watching Ang Dalawang Mrs. Real was like watching dalawang Marya. What happened to her? She can’t deliver her lines the way she used to. Parang hirap na siya magsalita. Effort na effort na siya mag-deliver ng lines.

LABAN KUNG LABAN AWARD – Vhong Navarro. Forgiveness is not in his vocabulary. After all, he was mauled to near death. His swollen face shocked millions and easily, he was the most controversial TV personality this year.

SINGER-SINGERAN AWARD – Kathryn Bernardo – When her album turned into gold on the day it was released, many people turned ballistic. Binili raw ni Kat ang album niya para maging gold. But you can’t argue with success. Gold record na ang kanyang album kahit na ano pa ang gawin ninyo. Ang mga inggit? ‘Yung mga walang pambili!!!

YOU GIVE SEX A BAD NAME AWARD: Celebrity Sex Scandals. Pambansang kahihiyan ang inabot ng mga celebrities na na-involve sa romansang pangkama. Nabulabog ang showbiz sa off-cam moaning and pumping, sa walang pigil na pangigigil. Bedtime acrobatics become headline stories.

JANUARY-DECEMBER AFFAIR AWARD – Freddie Aguilar and wife. Shocking Asia ang kanilang pagmamahalan, marami ang nagtaray, marami ang nawindang. Isang daisy ang nasungkit ni Ka Freddie kaya batikos ang kanyang inani.

GUSTO KO LANG LUMIGAYA AWARD – Sarah Geronimo. May dyowa na ang Sarah kaya marami ang super saya. Finally, ipinaglaban na niya ang pag-ibig niya kaya walang nagawa si Aling Divina. Sa piling ni Matteo Guidicelli lang siya lumigaya!!!

HANGGANG TUMBONG ANG KILIG AWARD – Daniel Padilla. His asal kanto demeanor is what makes him a unique personality. Daniel’s full of angas, something which endeared him to his fans. His “kinilig ang tumbong ko” aria ay talaga namang  masang-masa.

LIGAYA ANG ITAWAG MO SA AKIN AWARD – Ai Ai delas Alas. Kay suwerte ng lolah, genuine ang saya. Kung dati’y puro pagdurusa, ngayo’y sandamakmak na ligaya ang kanyang nadarama. Siksik at liglig sa pagtawa kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng bashers niyang inggitera at idiota!